Time of Growth
I thought I would share a couple personal pictures today! These are some of our favorite things to do… serve at Daybreak Church!! I am a small group leader to 4-5 year olds and Tim works with senior high guys. We love it!! These pictures are also some that we put in our profile book!
We did hear back that one of the birthmothers that was viewing our profile last week (or the week before) did not choose us. We haven’t heard about the other birthmother that was also looking at our profile. Our case worker has promised to let us know anything when she hears. So, hopefully we hear something soon. We will also be having another new birthmother to look at our profile this week (towards the end of the week).
I’m going to try to keep this short, but there have been a couple things this past week that have been very significant to me and our journey towards adoption. One is the fact that last week I really broke down. I’ve really been trying to give this whole process to God, but I realized (with the help of my husband) that I was only giving God the part of the process that I didn’t think I could control on my own. If you know me very well, you know that I have my weeks planned out way ahead of time… I am very organized and scheduled. So, when it comes to not knowing what lies ahead…. lets just say I’m not very good at it. This is something that I’m learning how to trust God with now. I was finding myself getting really anxious and constantly having thoughts like this… “I wonder if we will be picked today… we need to get ready… we don’t have anything we need yet… what if we don’t get choosen… what if… what if… what if…” It went on and on. I was stressing myself out – when I don’t have to. God has promised to carry the burden if I will only let Him. This is the verse that I read after I came to this realization:
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Now, when I start to think about those things that I was worrying about and letting consume me, I’m stopping them and just whispering a prayer to God to take that burden from me. I can’t say it has always been easy to give it up to Him, but I’m trying really hard to leave it in His hands.
The other big thing that I’ve learned about this past week was about how sheltered I really am. Tim and I went to a class that Bethany held about raising a transracial baby. We don’t know if our baby will be of a different race, but we want to be prepared if it is. I have so much more to learn about this subject and can’t wait to talk to others that have adopted and read some books on the subject. But, so far, I know that I will need to do a better job at integrating other activities and places into our life. They did the following activity with us… there were 6 different cups. Each cup had different color beads in them. Each bead represented a different ethnic group: African American, Caucasian, Asian, Native American, etc. Then they began listing off things like… “Your doctor is… Your neighborhood is mostly… Your schools are mostly… Your boss is… Your hair stylist is…etc.” Then we had to pick a bead that represented that person and fill our cup. Then, we had to take a bead that would represent our baby. How did our cups of beads look? Did it look all Caucasian? Do we have enough diversity for raising a child of a different race? I know Tim and I will have to make changes and definitely make an effort to make sure our child has positive role models and friends that they can relate to. It will definitely be something we will be exploring more in the coming months. How will our child respond when they get teased for the way they look? Will they know they are beautiful even though they are teased or will it eat at them constantly? We want to do all we can to our our child know they are loved and beautiful just the way they are! One thing we know we would like to do is be a part of a play group with other families that have adopted a child of a different race.
Pray that God will bring the right child to us at the right time!